Shopping for My Identity

Today I went shopping with my mom. You know to take back and exchange some Christmas items that either didn't fit, or we decided we didn't need. Overall, it was a successful day! But along the way I struggled a bit... with a lot deeper problem than should have to be pondered or decided in a mall or superstore.

While shopping, I had to decide my identity, who I wanted to be seen as. Because whether we want to accept it or not, our clothes help define us. They play a huge part in a first impression. They quite honestly help to determine whether or not someone approaches you or extends conversation. People notice your attire, way before you have a chance to speak.

And while shopping today...I struggled to decide what "me" I want the world to see. One part of me still wants to be young and hip. I want to wear racy tees and tight jeans and Converse sneakers and pleather jackets with fake fur. But another part of me wants to be taken seriously as a grown up. So then I feel like I should be out looking for blazers and suit jackets, buying lacy scarves and high heels and red lipstick. And yet a third part of me wants to be that athlete, all decked out in a sweatsuit with my Nike Shox and IPOD Nano armband, constantly timing my breathing and checking my pulse.

And ultimately, no matter what I decide, I never feel like it fits me or goes with my personality or matches who I want to be perceived as. Because while wearing the heels, I always feel like a child. And while in the Converse, I just happen to run into a top Executive. So I put on the heels, only to decide that I feel like a good game of volleyball. Nothing seems to fit the real me.

So...what to do? Should I buy nothing? Or buy it all? Should I mix and match? Or actually choose one? It's tough... which is probably why men don't shop. They can't handle the pressure.