Too Many Branches

Today, over a lunch of Chinese food and fortune cookies, my sister, my mom, and I discussed our family tree...which we decided has way, way too many branches!

My mother's father, or my maternal grandfather is the youngest of fourteen children. There is a span of fifty years between the oldest grandchild and the youngest, which makes things really really crazy. For instance, my grandfather was an uncle like twelve times before he was even born, so my mom's cousins are like my grandfather's age. Which is weird, because I will see my grandfather talking with a man who looks his age, but who is really his nephew. See how this can get confusing? (It's like the Fox family in You've Got Mail. You know, Tom Hanks' character, who is around thirty-five takes his brother and his aunt to the carnival and story hour, because both of them are under the age of twelve.)

And to continue the confusion: We see random people all the time, and my mom says, "Oh see that girl, she's your cousin." Having never seen that girl anytime ever before in my life, it's slightly strange. But it happens all the time! And that's just one-fourth of my family!

My father's mom, or my paternal grandmother, is the second oldest of six children. But what makes this family so crazy is that every one of my grandmother's siblings just happened to produce about six kids themselves, who also produced around six children... which makes for one very, very large family.

And all along, I thought I only wanted to have like two or three children! But then I think about these huge family get-togethers and how sad it would be for only two children to come and see me when I'm old and can't walk, when there is the possibility of six or seven kids and their families visiting... I mean, I just don't want to be responsible for the end of my family name! (Even though I am a female so I will most likely take my husband's name anyway... but you get what I'm saying, right?)

Pretty much the only downfall is that I won't be able to fly for like twelve years straight... or drink... or play sports... and I probably won't ever get my figure back...

Yikes! My maternal great-grandmother is my hero!