Missing You

I just spent an entire weekend with someone, have now been away from him for only three hours, and I still miss him like crazy! Isn't that just ridiculous?

Today, on the way home from my boyfriend's hometown, I realized how completely and rather hopelessly happy I am with him... And it scared the crap out of me. Because I am so afraid of finally finding someone, who could actually be the one, and not having enough time to be with him...

I mean just to think about how many people in the world have lost their special someone too soon, before they could grow old together or live their happily ever after... And to think that that could very easily happen to me, that I could very easily be the next person in the world to lose my special someone, before I get a chance to grow old with him or live happily ever after with him...

I mean just think of the situation that those people are in, constantly listening to people tell them that the deceased person that they loved would just want them to be happy... And they, the living, continually telling themselves that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all... And just thinking about how all of that is complete and utter bullshit, and that all you really want to do is just lay in bed and cry all day and night until the earth is flooded with your tears and anguish.

And it just makes me want to take all the people I love and put them into a bubble to protect them from anything and everything evil. It makes me want to just be with these people all day and every day, because there could be a time when I can't be with them at all. It makes me want to run towards my boyfriend, jumping head first into his arms, where I can stay for all eternity. I mean what is the point of going through all the formalities of life, if you aren't with the people you love and who love you? If you can't be with them? If they are taken from you?

And while Tennyson is right ("Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all), I still think that losing the one you love, your other half, would be simply unbearable. With my heart shattering into a thousand pieces, I can honestly say, that I don't know if I'd ever be able to stand again. So I now quote Otomo No Yakamochi: "Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there."

Meeting the Parents

This weekend I went home with my boyfriend to meet his parents and the rest of his family.

Now, there are a lot of things one could say about this semi-awkward situation, but there is one thing that I really dislike! And I don't dislike it because I am nervous or because I think the family won't like me or approve of me... It's simply because usually the only person we have in common is my boyfriend.

So everything starts out pleasant while they ask you questions about yourself.

"So where are you from?"

"What sorority are you in?"

"When did you and him meet?"

But then the conversation turns, and they start to talk about other people. But the reality is that if they start to talk about anyone else besides your boyfriend, the one person you have in common, you really have nothing to contribute to the conversation anymore. So you sit and listen...

"Do you remember Bill and Frank?"

"Or Uncle Charlie and Aunt Jill?"

"Or that really tall girl from school?" They continue on.

"So and so got arrested and so and so graduated from college."

"Melanie got into med school, and Adam moved to Florida."

"And surely you remember the kid from around the corner..."

And I think to myself as I sit quietly: No, I don't know the kid from around the corner... and no I haven't met the really tall girl from school, although I am sure she is pretty darn tall. But too bad for the guy who got arrested, and Adam is way smarter than us all for getting out of this Arctic weather and moving to the beach.

I mean I'm not from this area! I don't know these people! So I simply sit there, listening but bored out of my mind. And the worst of it is that it makes me feel shy and quiet, when really I just have absolutely no idea who the heck they are talking about. It really just sucks!

I mean... What happened to talking about me? I like being the center of the attention! Could we please go back to that?

The Annoyances with Flying

Flying... Don't you just hate it!

Let's just say that our trip to Vegas didn't exactly start out as planned. The morning started with me pulling my butt out of bed at 3:00AM in order to meet my parents by 4:00AM so we could get to the airport. We got through security and everything just fine, but our plane (which had been sitting there all night) was running low on oxygen, and they had to get a mechanic to fix it. Well... the mechanic was thirty minutes away, but we were assured by the airport attendant that it would be a quick fix once he got there. My family and I weren't too worried, because we had a two hour layover in Denver. So instead of waiting there, we would wait here in the airport. No biggie. However there was another family (who I think was going some place tropical) who was furious! There was yelling from both the family and the airport attendant who was in charge of our flight. It was not pretty! I missed a little of the action, because I had popped a Dramamine and was out, but I heard from my family that it was some pretty great stuff!

Finally, the mechanic got there. And it took him longer than "a quick fix" to fix our plane. Grant it, we didn't want to run out of oxygen mid-flight, but couldn't they have checked this out at 3:00AM when I was getting up so I wouldn't be late for the flight. If we are required to be early, they should have to be too. And don't you think a mechanic should be on staff at all times when the airport is open. I mean really. Eventually, we loaded and took off and landed in Denver, just as our connecting flight was leaving. Excuse me, but when does a flight ever leave from Denver on time!? Anyone ever experience it?

So now it was my family's time to get a little rowdy! Our options: Option 1: We had a small chance to make a flight at one o'clock, but it was completely booked, so we had to hope that connecting flights didn't make it in on time or people didn't show up. Unfortunately, we had six people, and there was probably not a very good chance that six people would not show up to claim their seats. Option 2: We could catch a flight that didn't leave until 8pm that night from Denver. Or option 3: There was room on a flight to Los Angeles, in which we could then jump on a flight leaving from there to Las Vegas and be in Vegas by 8pm. I remind you that all of these options were completely ridiculous, considering we were supposed to be in Las Vegas already!

We tried to get on the one o'clock flight and didn't. Go figure. So needless to say, I visited Los Angeles for the first time in my life, but never left the airport. And we didn't get into Las Vegas until 8:30PM. Which means I was up and pretty much in an airport or on a plane for 17 hours straight!! AND late for some Vegas fun I might add!

Well we tried to look on the bright side. Maybe the flight we were supposed to be on was going down and this was God's way of saving us. Or maybe this bad experience would save us from a future plane crash, because we will probably never fly UNITED again!

That could be the case... who knows really... but my sister's boyfriend's mother was a little upset when she was told, and she is now trying to get us all free flights. Gotta love them moms!

P.S. We flew American on the way home. And had absolutely no problems! Left Vegas at 7:30AM, connected in Dallas, and arrived in Des Moines by two o'clock. That's with the time differences. So fly American!

The Gift

Since I did not blog while I was in Vegas, I have to tell you about the gift my dad gave me right before we left. He gave me a bag and said:

"What would you like more than anything?"

I said, "A job."

He said, "Besides that..."

"A car?" I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to say.

"Just open it!" he said finally.

So I did.

And my dad (what a great dad) had gotten me this little Packer helmet that which was signed by the one and only BRETT FAVRE. And it's not just any old signature. It is actually written out to me. I mean it has my name on it. Which means that Favre actually knows my name. His hand wrote it. Which means he knows I exist in this world. Which means that he now knows that somewhere in Iowa there is a girl who loves him. And would gladly marry him if everything didn't work out with his wife!

Haha! And the funny thing is he actually signed a Green Bay Packer helmet, even as a current Viking. I love it! Favre is just amazing like that!

But it turns out my dad was talking to an insurance guy who knows Favre, because he used to play for the NFL and his dad used to play for the NFL... Something like that. And my dad didn't even buy insurance from him. So thanks to the insurance guy (what a great insurance guy) who helped my dad get me Favre's signature. That was really awesome of you!

And THANKS finally to my dad! You'll always be the best man in my life! And this is one of the best gifts I've ever gotten!

The Numbers of Vegas

So I got home from Vegas yesterday, and I had a blast. (More details to come!) But I am still so glad to be back on a schedule. Yes, I am one of those people who actually like a schedule. But while in Vegas, I had many questions involving numbers. I don't have a lot of the answers to share with you, but I am sure they would be very interesting to know. Below are a few of my questions:

How many taxis are registered in the city of Las Vegas?

How many wedding chapels are in Vegas?

How many pounds of food are wasted each day at the Mandalay Bay Buffet?

What are your odds of winning the Monopoly slot machine game?

What is the average time most people go to bed on a Vegas weekend?

How many free drinks does the average cocktail waitress hand out per shift? How much money does that cost the hotel/casino?

How many people actually leave Vegas a winner?

How many people throw up on the New York New York Rollercoaster?

How many Eiffel Tower margaritas are sold each day?

How many floors are there in the Luxor Pyramid?

While I am sure there are many more numbers of Las Vegas, these were just the few I thought about on the trip. If you know any of the answers, send them my way!

SIN CITY HERE I COME

Tomorrow at 6:25 AM I, along with my family, will be boarding a plane and leaving for the great and wonderful Las Vegas. I am totally stoked!

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, my sister turned 21 on Valentine's Day. Everyone else in my family has been to Vegas except her, so we decided about a year ago to make this trip after she was officially of age. Well the time has come... and I simply can't wait!

Many times I get so excited about a place or attraction, because it is advertised so amazingly and then I get there and am disappointed. That didn't happen when I went to Vegas the first time. It definitely lives up to all its hype! I mean my mouth literally fell open in awe!

There is just so much to see and do. You can gamble and drink and see shows. Heck you could spend a full two days just in one casino! The buffets are excellent, the restaurants amazing, and the architecture of each casino is so unique. There are the rides on the Stratosphere and the water show at the Bellagio and the Pirate show at Treasure Island and the roller coaster at New York, New York. Inside the Venetian you feel like you are outside, because the ceiling is painted like clouds, and every so often it starts to rain. Mandalay Bay has the biggest buffet I've ever seen, and underneath the Eiffel Tower you can buy the largest margaritas in the world! Of course all this is on the new strip, but the old strip is equally fun and exciting! If you just happen to win there, your money comes out old style in quarters. Can you imagine even fifty bucks in quarters?

Last time we went, we stayed at the Mirage, which was entirely elegant and perfect. This year we decided to go a little bit cheaper and stay at the Excalibur. So if I don't get a chance to blog in the next five days, it's because I am off having some fun in Sin City. But I promise to tell you all about it when I return.

P.S. This is definitely the time to be jealous!

Last Minute Valentines

Just two minutes ago I went to my mailbox to check my mail, thinking I would not have anything. But to my surprise, there were three Valentine's waiting for me. Two were store bought Valentine's but sweet none the less. And the third was a card from my parents. It was one of the sweetest cards I've ever read, let alone have ever received. I cried. It said:

(Outside cover)

A daughter leaves your home
but never your heart.

She discovers her own happiness
which, in turn, becomes yours.

(Inside)
Life changes.
Love does not.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Love You Always!
Mom & Dad

If that's not perfect, I don't know what is. Thanks Mom & Dad! I love you too! (And the twenty bucks!)

The Bachelor: And then there were two...

Another night of the Bachelor...

Jake got to spend one full day with each of the ladies that are left: Gia, Tenley, and Vienna. While each date consisted of different activities, it seems that Jake is in love with all three women.

As one of those girls, it would just be really hard to fathom. I mean, it's like "I love you, but I also love two other women. I love spending time with you, but I just spent an entire day with someone else." To me, that just makes the "Will you marry me?" a heck of a lot harder to believe. Yes, he loves me and picked me, but it was a close first to another woman. Um, not exactly my idea of a proposal.

But after all three dates, Jake had to eliminate one woman at the rose ceremony, and he said goodbye to Gia. And I'd like to commend her for handling it so well. I mean yes she cried and she blubbered, but she said everything right, whether she meant it or not. I kind of feel like Gia is the gorgeous model who never gets the guy, because she is seen as all looks. But she seems like a great girl to me. Good luck Gia!

And then there were two...

Next Monday, WOMEN TELL ALL. Look out for the cat scratches!

Potential Reached

I actually had a pretty stellar Valentine's Day! And I say "actually," because usually Valentine's Day never lives up to its full potential. But this year I "actually" had a great day!

My boyfriend bought me a beautiful Edible Arrangement. (See picture!) I told him no flowers or candy, so he bought me fruit and chocolate-covered strawberries instead. (A good alternative I think.) He went to church with me this morning. (Which was probably the best gift of all.) Then took me to Biaggis Italian Restaurant, where I stuffed my face with bread dipped in oil and Parmesan and my meal of cheese-stuffed ravioli. (Which actually had a way prettier name on the menu.) We had some awesome conversation there and some really good laughs. However, I got way too full and started to feel a little nauseous, so we spent some time in Bed Bath and Beyond in order to take my mind off my stomach. I got to pick out some fun items for the apartment I will be needing after I graduate. (Flexible cutting boards...) Everyone who knows me understands that shopping makes me happy!

Plus, today is not only Valentine's Day, it is my younger sister's birthday. (Happy Birthday, L. Jean!) And she turned 21. (We did all our partying last night...) So the afternoon was spent lounging around with the entire fam, watching YouTube videos and the Olympics, until going out to supper at Joe's Crab Shack. Yum yum in my tum tum! Not to mention, we are going to Las Vegas on Thursday, now that the whole family is of age. So... four days in counting...

But yeah, just a great day with the people I loved on "the day of love." Kind of makes me want to believe in it all... :)

The Irish Blessing

So yes, I am Irish... And I love all things Irish... St. Patrick's Day, the Claddagh ring, Kiss Me I'm Irish stickers, Strongbow, four leaf clovers, and leprechauns... But I really love the Irish Blessing and how someone can use it to wish you the best in all faucets of your life. Today, I bless you...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

A Vent

I am an emotional wreck. I love cheesecake. I overanalyze everything. I've broken up with everyone I've ever dated. I hate scary movies. My hair is actually quite ugly. I am not completely unfortunate looking. I love music. I cry too much. I smile too little. I am way too organized. I am anti-social. I want the fairytale and nothing less. I love plastic containers. I have a wart. I adore my family. I like Las Vegas. I hate frozen chicken. I look in the mirror and judge myself more than five times a day. And I'm never satisfied. I enjoy shopping. I love to write. But as it turns out, I might not be as good of a writer as I hoped. I have good intentions. I am losing my way. I am constantly comparing myself to other girls. I barely pray anymore. I pretend to know what I am talking about. Sometimes I wish I had bigger breasts. I take people for granted. I have too many hair products. I have stretch marks. I am broke. I am underqualified. I like to be complimented. I don't do drugs. I pretend to be tough. I drink champagne from a plastic cup. I am afraid to die. I want to be more than I am. I love bologna. I overreact. I make mistakes. I buy new clothes to cover up my flaws. My planner is my life. I wish I could play the guitar. I wish I was outgoing. I bruise easily. I wear glasses. My toes are ugly. I sell myself short. I am not confident.

Don't mind me. I am just being honest with myself.

Ultra Fine Sharpies Rock My World!

Just wanted to let everyone out there know that I think Sharpie Retractable Ultra Fine Point permanent markers are simply AMAZING! They don't come in many colors, but they allow you to use a Sharpie like a pen. Because as we all know, sometimes regular Sharpies are a little too thick to use for everyday purposes, but these little guys are perfect for the job. Plus being a retractable marker, it eliminates the possibility of you losing the cap and your marker running dry. I mean, brilliant!

So if in fact there are any Sharpie social media specialists out there probing blogs and cyberspace, let everyone over there in Sharpie World know that I adore this product! Keep up the good work!

P.S. Just maybe add a few colors to the "ultra fine point" rainbow, and then you will be totally rocking my world! :)

Sojourner Truth knows the truth!

I am currently taking American Women's History, and it is all too interesting to read and learn about women and how they strived to find equality. But today while reading Sojourner Truth's speech, "Ain't I a Women?" I found one of the best quotes ever and have decided that Sojourner Truth was a bad ass advocate for African American and women's rights! And now I quote this brilliant woman:

"Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much right as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a women! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again!"

Tear... Sojourner, you make me proud to be a woman!

Buying in Bulk!

Today I made a trip to Sam's Club with some friends, and it was AMAZING! There is just something about shopping in bulk, haha! I have only ever been to Sam's Club like one other time in my life, so it was a real treat to go there today to see the stacks upon stacks of Lucky Charms, toilet paper, and Scotch tape.

While most people walk out of that place with a cart crammed full of goodies, sadly me and three others only bought seven items: a 24-pack of Fruit-By-the-Foot and Gushers combined, a ginormous bucket of cheese balls, a large bag of breaded shrooms, a forty pack of CapriSun, a three-pack of beef jerky, a huge bag of Craisins, and The Biggest Loser workout DVD. And all of this for the low price of $52.05.

Still... our cart looked pretty pathetic against those hardcore mom shoppers. We felt that it probably wasn't a true trip to Sam's Club if you didn't have to pull up under the overhang to get your items loaded into your vehicle. We failed at life. :(

P.S. Condiments in bulk gross me out! Never ever should mayonnaise be sold in four gallon buckets nor butter be in containers any bigger than your refrigerator.

The Bachelor

Not sure if any of you out there are Bachelor fans, but things are starting to get interesting this season with Jake the pilot.

In case you missed tonight's episode, Ali left. She was forced to choose between Jake and her job, a job in which she very much loves. Thank God she chose her job, because there were still three other girls left, and as much as she could hope that Jake would choose her, she could have been without a job and a guy!

Thanks to Ali, I'm reminded that although love is grand, a girl should not have to risk the things she loves and who she is for a guy... especially one who is smooching three other women.

Ali... You did the right thing! And as a girl looking for any job right now, let alone one she adores, I respect your decision!

Just in case you are interested, there are now three girls left: Tenley, Vienna, and Gia and they are off to St. Lucia with Jake. Who will he choose? Hopefully we'll know in three weeks! I was rooting for Ali, but now Tenley's got my vote.

A Revelation

One day, while in front of the TV
watching the news
I had a revelation.

A plane had crashed somewhere
far away, four people dead,
I spoke out loud.

Isn't it crazy how people die everyday,
but if doesn't affect you or your life
you don't think much of it?

That somewhere someone is hurting,
because that woman was her mother
or that boy was his son.

But it didn't affect me,
so I didn't think much of it.
And I went on with my life.

One day, after hearing the news,
while in the weight room working out,
I had a revelation.

Two cars had crashed somewhere
close, one person dead.
I did not speak.

Isn't it crazy that people die everyday
but if it doesn't affect you or your life,
you don't think much of it.

But there, in the weight room
I was hurting, because I had known this man.
He was my neighbor.

No one else paused to look
at the crash on the monitor,
no one else cared.

No one else thought of the wife at home
who no longer had a husband
or the two kids who no longer had a father.

But I did. It affected me.
So I thought, and I cried.
And then I went on with my life.

Isn't it sometimes sickening how comfortable we get with death? Because it happens everyday and everywhere. It's not that death is something to be feared... it's just that the hundreds of people who died on 9-11 were honored and their country will remember them every year on that day. But what about the woman who died in the motor accident two nights ago? Only the son she left behind will remember her on the anniversary of her death. It's so subjective. Death is subjective. But no matter what you feel or how it affects you, life still goes on whether you believe it will or not. That's the only way we survive.

Nicholas Sparks Wanna Be

Last night I went to "Dear John," a movie based on Nicholas Spark's best seller. Although the movie was not exactly what I expected, I am sure the book is some marvelous stuff. Sparks has another novel, "The Last Song," coming out on film here soon as well. What a stud! I wish I could write not only best selling books, but books good enough to be made into films. Sparks is my idol!

Funny little story though...

One night I was feeling really down for one reason or another and of course started questioning everything in my life including my writing. Somehow I ended up on my computer reading Sparks' biography and about the many books he's published. I was jealous. But I did find out that we are similar people. Look... here are all the ways that we are alike.

1. We both went to college for a Business-related field but both wish to write.
2. We are both Irish, English, German, and Czech.
3. He was born not that far from here in Omaha, Nebraska.
4. He was in track in college just like me.
5. He's a middle child, just like me.
6. He was raised Catholic just like I was.

Just gives me a little bit of hope that maybe I ALSO could be a good writer. And my goals are now to publish a book and have at least one made into a movie just like Nicholas Sparks...

Well... that and to make Oprah's bookclub! :) Wish me luck...

Does It Mean Anything?

Lately I've been pondering a question.

Does it mean anything to say, "Wish I could help" or "I am sorry" when someone is having a bad day, when you really had no intention of trying to help or trying to make that person's day better? Sounds funny, but really. Shouldn't you only say "Wish I could help" if you've exhausted every possible way to help that person, only to find that you really are out of options? Or shouldn't you only say "I am sorry" when you are truly are sorry, because there is absolutely nothing you can do to help.

I understand that sometimes a person doesn't necessarily want help or need sympathy, but that sometimes a person just wants someone to recognize that they are hurting, that they are not themselves. I understand this, because sometimes I feel this way.

But most of the time, we could help, we could sympathize. We just choose not to, because we would have to rearrange our schedule, or it would inconvenience our day. I just think more times than none we should choose to be sincere and choose to exhaust all options.

I envy those who do so.

The Claddagh Ring

Many girls these days are wearing Claddagh rings, and whether they know it or not, the Claddagh ring is actually a Celtic wedding ring. But the story behind it is what I love the most. So, I just thought I'd enlighten those who have never heard the story with this romantic tale.

The Story of the Claddagh Ring

Five centuries ago, just outside of the city of Galway, in the village of Claddagh, a youngman was fishing at sea with the other men in his family. The sea presented many dangers, but the greatest risk was the pirates that manned the waters. On one such day, a group of pirates captured the men from Claddagh and took them to the far off North Coast of Africa. It was there that they were sold into slavery for what they were sure would be the best rest of their lives.

Richard, the youngest of those captured, was most distraught because days before they were captured, he had met his true love and now feared that he would not live to see her again.

Years passed. Several of the men died. Others accepted their fate. Richard worked as a slave, but still longed to be back in Claddagh with his beloved. To keep this hope in his heart, each day Richard stole a tiny speck of gold from his slave master and soon had enough gold to create a ring. It was his hope, that when he returned to his village one day, he could present the ring to his true love.

Somehow, Richard was able to escape his captivity and finally made the long journey home. He was pleased to learn that his true love had remained unmarried and was still awaiting his return. It was on that day that Richard gave his one true love the ring he created which is now today known worldwide as the Claddagh Ring.

The design of the ring is very unique. The heart symbolizes the love Richard longed to share with his true love; the crown, his undying loyalty; and the hands, friendship which is the foundation for all relationships.

There is even a guide to how the ring should be worn. If it is worn on the right hand with the heart pointing it out, it mean's the wearer's heart is uncommitted. If it is worn on the same hand with the heart pointing in, the wearer's heart is taken. But if by chance it is worn on the left hand with the heart pointing in towards the wearer's own heart, it actually means, "Let love and friendship reign forever, never to be separated." In this case, the wearer is mostly likely engaged or married.

I think the tale of the Claddagh ring and its signficance is really an amazing story! Of course, I'm also Irish so I believe in its reality, but the beauty of love that is shown by Richard and his beloved's undying faith is truely magical, which is probably why the ring is so popular these days. I am sure every girl's wish is to find a love that can last a million years and across a thousand seas, a most loyal love that is strung together by friendship. At least that is what I wish for...

Job Wanted!

Applying for jobs is mentally exhausting! I hate trying to sell myself through qualifications and experience, because as of right now, I have none! And please tell me how am I supposed to get experience if I can't get hired. And having experience is required for like 99% of all jobs, so I haven't yet applied for anything! It's just so frustrating! Not to mention, these days, a four-year degree has become so common, it means practically nothing! What in the hell did I pay $33,000 a year for?

Plus, the reality is I really don't want to work anyway, so it is becoming really hard to find any job postings that sound even relatively fun... I know, I know, your first job doesn't have to be the job of your dreams, it just has to pay the bills. I get that, but I at least want to get out of bed each morning knowing I have a purpose. That's not asking way too much is it?

People keep telling me, "You're a great girl with some awesome abilities. You'll get hired. People would be crazy not to hire you!"

But what if I seriously can't find a job? That's scary... I don't want to live at home. No offense parentals.

Six Lives Saved

Today I saved six lives.

And no I didn't rescue anyone from a burning building or prevent anyone from drowning or steer an out of control school bus of children to safety.

Instead, I gave blood.

Today I gave a double red cell donation, in which the blood center is able to collect twice as many red blood cells from my blood as a regular whole blood donation. And since for every pint of blood you give, you could ultimately save three lives, today I did double duty.

The double red cell donation is actually kind of a interesting procedure, because the patient can get extremely cold during the donation. See... your body is approximately 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit and therefore, your blood is also. But when they remove it from your body it gets closer to room temperature which is somewhere around 72 degrees Fahrenheit. During this process, a machine separates your red blood cells from your plasma, and then they return your plasma to your bloodstream. So because the plasma is way cooler than it was when it exited your veins, you feel a really weird, cool sensation when it is returned. And they do all this twice. So nevertheless, I froze today why I gave blood! They had me wrapped up in two blankets, and I was still a shivering fool! And it's a weird feeling, because it feels like you are being chilled from the inside out, instead of the outside in. Almost as if the blood in your veins is freezing over like water in a stream.

So while I wasn't overly courageous or gallant today, I still spent one very cold and uncomfortable hour lying on my back with a needle stuck in my arm. That's more than most people do! For in fact, only around 38% of Americans are even eligible to give blood, and less than 10% actually give blood on a regular basis. Shocking, huh?

And being totally honest, giving blood really didn't bother me at all. Yes my arm is a little tender where the needle went in, but it was a small price to pay, considering six lives were on the line.

And if there ever comes a time when I am need of blood, I will be glad that there are good people out there willing to give.

Dreaming...

Lately, I've been dreaming about ex-boyfriends... Yes... I know the dreaded Exes...

And I'm not just talking about one ex-boyfriend in one random dream on one weird night, I'm talking about multiple exes in multiple dreams occurring on multiple nights. I mean at one point I got married (Yes married!) to my current beau, while many dreamy nano seconds later, the guy turned into one of my exes, and then another ex popped into the dream to have a conversation with my husband and me at the beach on our honeymoon...

And then of course, the next night I dreamt about a completely different set of exes in a completely different setting (which I thank God for, because I would have felt like a complete tramp hanging with another guy/guys the night after my wedding day).

But I mean it's not like I am getting down and dirty and intimate with every boy in every dream I have, it's just awkward, because it brings to the surface feelings I thought I'd locked away. Trust me, I have no intention of calling any of these old boyfriends up any time soon, but it just makes me wonder what sparks these dreams about people I haven't talked to in forever?? It just complicates my brain with unwanted clutter and drama.

And I am not trying to say that all my exes are complete scoundrels or a complete waste of my dream space either, I just feel like there are only two guys who should occupy my dreams right now: my current leading man and of course, my daddy...

But seriously...This is all so creepy and weird, and I don't enjoy it one bit!

I mean, you should have seen my wedding dress! It was completely hideous, and I about cried when I saw my wedding cake! Disaster... :)