Engaged?

No! Not me! I'm not engaged... But my oldest sister and her boyfriend just got engaged last night. Exciting stuff I know! So now two of my sisters have given in to love and are going to be/are hitched. Which leads me to think a lot about the idea...

I've always wanted and planned to get married right out of college, just because I figured the earlier you get married, the earlier you get to spend the rest of your life with that special someone. But here I am graduating and not married or engaged... Yes, I have a boyfriend, but we've only been dating five months now, and he still has two years of college left, so I am pretty sure that's not going to be happening anytime soon. And I wouldn't want it to, because it's way too early to start thinking about that. It's just that I'm only getting older, if you know what I mean.

But for some reason there is this crazy notion stuck in my head which I think is completely ridiculous, but for some preposterous reason I can't get it out... I feel like I'm in a rush to get married... like my life hasn't yet started and won't until I'm married, like the day there's a ring on my finger, will be the day all my problems go away, and I can live happily ever after for ever and ever. And I don't know why I feel this way, because all logic proves that as along as you and your guy are together you should be happy, whether or not you are married... And life before marriage might even be easier, because you don't have kids, a house payment, jobs, or in-laws to fight about... Plus, there are those marriages that don't make it and leave people scarred or confused or hurt for the rest of their lives, and I don't want that for myself either! So why do I feel like there is a piece of me waiting to be filled by my husband?

It's stupid really... And I don't know if it's the media's influence like people claim everything is these days, or if it's just this childhood fantasy of mine to have a beautiful wedding and get married to the guy of my dreams... Either way, I'm jealous of married couples. They seem so happy. And I just hope I am as happy as they all at least seem to be...