Time Flying...

Wow! It's New Year's Eve, and I can't believe it! I can't believe that it is already 2010... seems to me like we just started the millennium. And the New Year always brings me back to that notion of time flying...

Because it does. And it's kind of scary! I'm already twenty-two!

Still being a college student, it seems that I am constantly preparing for my life, as if it hasn't started yet. Up till now, I have been constantly learning and observing, as if trying to decide what is the best life for me. As a toddler, I prepared to start school. In elementary school, I was preparing for middle school. And in middle school, I was preparing for high school. And in high school for college. And college for "real life." Every decision I have ever made, I've made on the basis of it preparing me for a job and paying rent and finding a husband and buying a vehicle and living on my own. And all along I thought I had tons of time to do so.

But... that part of my life, all that preparation and observing and evaluation and testing, is coming to a close. In six months, I will be graduating, and no longer can I give the excuse that I am preparing for the rest of my life, because it WILL BE the rest of my life. The rest of my life starts in May of 2010.

So Hopefully, all that preparing and all that observing and all that testing has paid off. Hopefully, I have learned the essentials. Hopefully, I will succeed in every way I hoped and in every way I dreamed. Hopefully, I am ready to move on to the next stage of my life.

Because time is flying by... Tick tock, tick tock...

It's already 2010, and I feel like I've barely spread my wings.

(Photo found on istockphoto.com)

Exhausted but Brilliant

Dictionary.com defines exhaustion as weakness or fatigue; the total consumption of something.

And that is exactly how I feel at this moment. Completely and utterly exhausted. I did inventory all day today, did a 40-minute Insanity workout when I got home, and then played volleyball for three hours straight tonight. Wow! Exhausted. Weak. Fatigued. Totally consumed.

Which is the reason that I am finding it hard to think of anything brilliant to say or write tonight. But who defines brilliance anyway? Well, Dictionary.com does of course, and...

Dictionary.com defines brilliance as excellence or distinction; conspicuous talent, mental ability, etc.

So tonight to meet par and display brilliance, I will tell you a friendly little joke. Here it goes...

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes‚ I know‚" said the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But‚ madam‚ you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied: "Sir‚ anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Snicker snicker... Brilliant? I think so... :)

Caring the Least

For some reason, as I sit down to write tonight, a quote I recently heard comes to my mind:

"The power in all relationships lies with whoever cares the least."

So true... but I am slightly confused. Although this quote seems to be saying that you should try and be the one in the relationship who cares the least, because then you are the one in complete control, my question is... How do you keep yourself from caring? How would one keep his or herself unattached and uninvolved? How does someone stay that distant?

Sometimes I wish I knew this answer, because it would relieve me of the fear of being vulnerable, hurt, or heartbroken. It would save me the agony of "putting myself out there." Because usually I am the one who cares the most, usually I am the one who's too attached and too involved. (Maybe that's just the girl in me.)

But then again, if you are the one who cares the least, what's the point? Why are you in the relationship at all? Why are you even trying? What's in it for you? Is power worth that? Is control worth that?

And perhaps that's why I am usually the one who cares the most... because I see no reason in not caring. What would the world be like if no one cared? What would my life be liked if I cared about nothing and cared for no one? Yes, it would be safe. But it would also be boring and uneventful... and very very lonely.

A Nightmare

After yesterday's post regarding family, I went to sleep feeling the importance of family and friends in my life. Then, I had a very ironic dream.

About three-fourths of the way through a rather pleasant dream, I was shot in the head by a man in a getaway vehicle. I didn't die right away, because the bullet was lodged just in the right spot, but I knew that I had little time left.

So after my friends got me into a car to get to a hospital, I was forced to call each one of my family members to say goodbye. It was harsh, even for a dream. The calls were very difficult, and even though I didn't want to hang up after talking to one of my family members for the last time, I knew I had other calls to make, other people to say goodbye to. While I remember feeling little pain from my head injury, my heart was deteriorating slowly with each call.

After only finishing three of the five calls I wanted to make, I woke up abruptly. I sat up in my bed and looked around my bedroom, final realizing that the dream wasn't real. But what frightened me the most is that that situation is real for a lot of different people, and it could very easily be reality for me. That would be a complete nightmare.

I had trouble falling back to sleep after that.

Feast of the Holy Family

Today, the Sunday after Christmas, is the Feast of the Holy Family in the Catholic Church calendar. It is a day in which we celebrate Jesus' family, Mary and Joseph. But it is also a time to discuss how important our family is in our lives.

Family is a difficult thing to discuss, because we all have such different families. There are traditional families, nontraditional families, and non-family households. There are church families and communities and school friends. So measuring and evaluating your family life is really just something that you have to do on your own.

All I know is that I take my family for granted way too often. They are my whole life. The bread to my butter, and I really wouldn't know how to exist without them.

So tonight... I thank God for my family, and you really should too. Because even when the only thing that binds you is your blood, that is one thing you do share, one commonality. Take it and run... because some people are blessed with a whole lot less.

"You Always Meet Twice"

Tonight I was reminded of a very interesting German saying: "You always meet twice."

Now whether this is actually true or not, I don't know, but just think how pleasing it would be if it was true. For in fact, this means that you always have a second chance. No matter what the circumstances. Whether you made a good or bad impression the first time, you have a second chance to confirm your position or make up for your rude behavior.

You have a second chance to get that job. You have a second chance at baking that cake. You get a second chance at that 1st place title. You have been blessed with a second chance with that friend, neighbor, or family member.

And how cool is it to believe that sometime, somewhere, by some means, your paths will cross again. A day from now? A week from now? Ten years from now? On the bus? In a bar? On the beach? In Best Buy? You don't know. Like that saying, "Would you rather know when you are going to die or how you are going to die?" In this case, you know neither, except that it's inevitable. It will happen. You will die, or in this situation, you will get a second chance.

But it all depends on whether or not you take it; whether or not you face your fears; whether or not you risk feeling stupid or silly or heaven forbid, wrong. You have to step up and rise to the occasion.

Because yes, you get a second chance, but.... you might only get one.

Two Pieces of Wood

I would like to relay my priest's very simple Christmas message onto you...

It all started with two pieces of wood: the baby Jesus was lain in a manger, a cradle which was made of two pieces of wood. It all ended with two pieces of wood: Jesus was hung to die on the cross, which was also ironically made of two pieces of wood.

How do we choose to live our lives? Do we comfort people who are in despair? Hug those who need support? Befriend the outcast? Do we build a cradle? OR Do we cause conflict? Set up boundaries? Create enemies? Do we build crosses?

We are all given two pieces of wood... How will you choose to use them? Will you make a cradle or a cross?

It's really all that simple. Start building...

(Photo courtesy of castlegardener.files.wordpress.com)