So my last post was in 2011 before my wedding. What can I say? I got busy. And I have so much to tell you about... but today, I want to tell you about something else. Yesterday, after a long conversation about writing, I read my co-worker a couple of my blog posts. This got me thinking about my blog and starting to write again. Today, something happened that was worth writing about. So, without further ado...
Nine weeks ago, I started the Couch 2 5k Challenge. It is an app on my phone that has 24 steps/workouts that build you up to running a 5k (3.1 miles). I was going to run my final day tomorrow, but since I was home alone with my son (yes, I have a son!) and nothing else to do, I just up and decided to do it tonight. Yes, I decided to run my final run, 30 minutes straight, the day following my last 28 minute run, while pushing my son in the stroller. I tried to pump myself up while I got dressed and went to grab a cap to help keep my hair back out of my face. Thumbing through my stack, I found one that used to be my Uncle Mark's. It was a mustard yellow, baseball cap that read "Caterpillar" on its front. My uncle passed away last winter, and my aunt had offered each member of my family a hat in memory of him. I decided to wear this cap thinking that maybe it would give me strength to finish my challenge, because my uncle would be running with me. Putting it on my head, I continued to get ready, grabbing my phone, suiting up my son... I moved to the fridge to grab a water to take with me and stopped to look at one of only three photos on my fridge: a photo of my uncle in the weeks before he passed. In the photo, he sits on a boat wearing blue sweat pants, a white T-shirt, and a Carhartt jacket, looking frail but smiling, and... wearing a mustard yellow baseball cap with "Caterpillar" written on its front. I blinked back a small glimmer of astonishment. I hadn't even noticed his cap until that moment.
I went on my run, the entire way thinking of my uncle. I thought of him as I ran through a cemetery on my route. I thought of him and how he looked in the photo on my fridge. And I thought of him when I glanced up to see the yellow mustard of the baseball cap near my brow. I finished my challenge, feeling way better than I imagined I would. I realized that even though I knew I could and would do it, I had still been afraid of failing. And even though, I am mad at myself for not having confidence in my training, I realized that sometimes you just need someone to be there for you, cheering you on, convincing you that the doubt in your mind is silly. My uncle was that person tonight. Thanks for being there for me... Ma Ma Ma Ma Dark*. I love you.
*When I was little, I had trouble saying my "M" words. I confused them with "Ds". My family would try to help me, telling me to say, "Ma Ma Ma Ma Mark" and I would say, "Ma Ma Ma Ma Dark."
1 comments:
Congrats on finishing the training! I did my first long run of the training yesterday. I too went to get a hat to wear to keep the sun out of my eyes. I saw my hat from Uncle Mark hanging on the hook and almost picked it up to wear. (It is also a mustard yellow - he must have really liked hats that were that color.) Not until last night had I even considered wearing it. I didn't end up wearing it as I didn't want to have to adjust the size from where he had it - I am sentimental in a weird way. When I came back from my run, as I went to get a glass of ice water, I looked at the exact same picture that is on my fridge also. Some might say that this was a coincidence, but I believe we have an angel looking over us.
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