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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

HGTV

I don't know if you all out there in cyber world watch much T.V. (I know I very rarely have time) but when I do, I love watching HGTV (Channel 67), which features shows on homes and gardens, deocrating, and home improvement. LOVE IT! I think in another life, (or perhaps if I were more ambitious) I would have been an architect. I love seeing the designs of homes in the United States as well as abroad. I could probably be a realtor as well, except I would probably want to steal every awesome house/apartment I find from one of my clients. Haha... My favorite show is House Hunters, but I also enjoy watching Holmes with Homes, The Outdoor Room, and Curb Appeal.

I can't wait until I am able to purchase my first real home or nice apartment. (I don't count the apartments I live in each summer.) I just want a place to call my own, with my own comfy bed, library of books, McCoy pottery, hand-me down couch, and Goodwill kitchen plates. I am so excited, I am actually watching HGTV right now!

I kind of feel like once I have all that, the right guy will come along, and my fairytale can begin. Not that I am waiting on a guy or anything... :)

Monday, April 26, 2010

My Mom's Thought in My Own Words

Everyone feels love differently, and therefore, you have to adjust the way you show people that you love them in order to meet their needs. It doesn't always work to show someone you love them in the same way that you hope someone will show you, because everyone is different. Adjust. Change. Make sure that the person you love, really and truly understands the way you feel.

I think this is a problem of mine. I try to show people I love them by the ways that I think are sufficient, but maybe I am not getting my point across. I need to understand how those people want to be loved and love them that way with hugs or kisses or small gifts or appreciation or compliments. This, I will work on.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Quote of the Day

"If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it and let it become you, and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you."

T. Alan Armstrong

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Work

Why is everything always so much work? Finding a job, playing a sport, getting what you want in life, keeping relationships strong... it's exhausting. Sometimes I just want to sit and do nothing and just be happy.

You hear a lot or maybe I've just heard a lot... that relationships are work. You have to work at staying together and work to please one another. I went to a wedding where a priest said, you have to out sacrifice your spouse. You have to try to win by out sacrificing your husband, because if you are both working to make the relationship stronger, it will be stronger. But why does it have to be so much work? Every relationship I've ever been in has been so much work, until it comes to a point that I start to think, is this too much work? Should it really be this hard? I don't feel like it's worth all the stress and pain when I have to work so hard just for it to even be decent...

And then you hear a lot or maybe I've just heard a lot... that anything worth having is worth working for. So then, is it better to have to work so hard in order to see those benefits? Should I continue working, hoping for the best? But what if the benefits don't ever come? What if our relationship is never better? What if I never throw the javelin to provisionally qualify? What if I don't land a great job?

It's hard, but I'm still working... for now.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

An Interview...

Today, I got my first job interview in awhile. And don't get me wrong, I am happy about it, but one of the biggest reasons I got the interview was because my sister who currently works with the company, referred me. While I appreciate my sister's help and I know networking is huge part of landing a job, I just wish someone would look at my resume, cover letter, references, etc. and say, "Wow! We'd be crazy to let this girl go!"

It sounds dumb, but I know I am a hard worker, and I know I give everything I do my all. And I know that am a quick learner, and that I have had three great internships to prepare me for the real world. But no one else can see that, unless they give me a job.

People I know keep saying, "Don't worry Ali, you're a great person, you'll get a job!" But those people know who I am and what I am really like. Employers don't know that. Which I guess goes to prove that referrals are just as good as landing a job on your own... it just doesn't feel like it.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Love of the Lord

In Greek, there are three different words for love: Philia, Éros, and Agápe. While they all mean love in one way or another, each has a slightly different meaning.

Philia (philía) means friendship in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate but virtuous love, which includes the love for your friends, family, and community.

Éros (érōs) is a passionate love with sensual desire and longing. It is one step further than philia. This is the love used to describe a dating relationship, spouse, or life partner.

Agápe (agápē) directly means "love" in modern day Greek. It is true love, a deep, everlasting, all-giving love.

In the gospel reading John 21:1-19, Jesus reveals himself to his disciples for the third time since his resurrection. He speaks to Simon Peter around a campfire, which if you remember correctly is also where Simon Peter was warming himself when he denied the Lord three times in the courtyard. Here, Jesus asks Simon Peter is he loves him three times as well. Understanding the Greek words for love, makes this passage so much more powerful.

Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you [Agápe] Me?”
Simon Peter said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I [Philia] You.”
He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”

Jesus said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you [Agápe] Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I [Philia] You.”
He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”

Jesus said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you [Philia] Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you [Philia] Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I [Philia]You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.

Simon Peter is unable to give Jesus the specific kind of love Jesus asks from him. Simon Peter can give him virtuous love but is unable to offer a deep, everlasting, all-giving love. But Jesus finally accepts that Simon Peter is loving him as much as he is capable.

This makes me think about what kind of love I am giving the Lord? Philia or Agápe? Am I loving him the most that I possibly can? Hearing and understanding the Greek was a real news flash for me. I realized that I am capable of loving the Lord so much more than I already am. Why am I holding back? What's stopping me? Why am I afraid?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Barbie and Her Effects on Youth

So I just wrote a paper on Barbie and her effects on youth. Although this is an argument you all have probably heard before, I thought it was interesting enough to share portions with you anyway.


There have been numerous debates over the effects of Barbie on young minds. How is Barbie affecting our youth? Is Barbie giving young girls wrongful expectations of their bodies? Or is she an icon for independence and strength? The primary reason that this debate over Mattel’s plastic doll is such a hot topic is because there is significant evidence to support both sides. In the article, “Dumb blonde – or diehard feminist?” written by Moira Redmond and Julie Bindel, it is easy to see both sides of this argument. While I never really had a strong opinion either way, Redmond and her multiple ideas on how Barbie is a role model for young girls seemed to be the better argument, convincing me that Barbie is not so dangerous for children after all.


As mentioned, the Barbie debate has come up plenty of times in the media. Most often you hear of the negative impact the doll is having on young girls. Bindel and others think that Barbie is giving our children the wrong message. The most common argument is based on Barbie’s figure and size: “Barbie syndrome strives for an unrealistic body type. If Barbie was life-size, she’d measure 36-18-33, stand five foot, nine inches tall, and weigh twelve to thirty-five pounds underweight for a woman of that height.” Critics are saying that this is a false image we are giving to our children. The last thing we want to do is encourage girls to be skinnier or tell girls that they are fat. This opinion is shared by Alisa L. Valdes, author of “Ruminations of a Feminist Fitness Instructor.” She states, “If a woman of Barbie’s proportions existed, she wouldn’t be able to walk, breathe, or digest food.”

Barbie creates and follows many gender stereotypes. According to the article, Barbie is “modeled on a German porn doll called Lillie.” There is a French Maid Barbie the Black Canary, hooker Barbie, Barbie with a wedding dress, Barbie as a nurse, and Barbie as Medusa. Bindel argues that these dolls are most often based on gender roles, convincing little girls that their future lies only in fashion, marriage, or pornography. There is even a phrase, “Barbie and Ken,” which is meant to classify “men and women who behave as their prescribed, polarized gender roles.” A woman’s role in society has progressed so much to where women are now pastors and political leaders and doctors, that we do not need a little doll retracting our advancement.

Although, Bindel makes many valid points, I do see the positive aspects of Barbie that Redmond points out in her section. She talks about the Barbie’s body shape, affordability, her independence of men, the variety of nationalities of dolls, and the argument that the doll stimulates the imagination and can be seen as a role model for any young girl. Redmond comments that Barbie “has impressive proportions, but they are by no means outside of the normal range.” She disagrees with Bindel who says that no real human being could ever be that skinny. Who’s actually right is debatable. Redmond explains that although Barbie has a multitude of accessories, buying only the Barbie is actually quite affordable, only about $15.00., which allows families of many classes to purchase this toy for their children. These dolls also come in a variety of nationalities, pushing diversity and acceptance to children and providing kids everywhere with a Barbie who relates to their culture.


The two most important arguments Bindel makes are Barbie’s independence and role model attributes. The doll is communicating to children that they can be anything they want to be, just like Barbie: a doctor, vet, astronaut, teacher, or firefighter. Barbie screams independence to young girls, whose brothers don’t have an equivalent toy. While the Ken doll does exist, Barbie is never portrayed as needing Ken to help her camp or sail or ship or mountain bike. She is autonomous and well-rounded, just like all women should grow up believing.


Because there are arguments for and against the Barbie, I do not think it’s feasible to start pulling them off the shelves. I personally think that more than anything, the Barbie doll inspires young girls to be interactive and let their imaginations run. I remember playing with Barbies as a young girl, and for me it was more about creating the world of Barbie in my mind through the design of her house, her job, and her family, than it was picking out her clothes and gloating about her skinny waist. I actually thought that changing her clothes and brushing her hair was too much work anyway. It gave me time to interact with my sisters and create a world all of our own with our dolls.


Sometimes I think that this whole debate on the Barbie doll and how it is affecting the world’s youth is a little over the top. I am not a psychiatrist or expert on children’s growth and maturity, but I sometimes feel that we analyze this way too much. Does a little girl really see her Barbie as herself? Does she know that she can be more than an object to men? And even so, buy the child a Barbie plus a G.I. Jane doll, a Tickle Me Elmo, and a box of Legos. This Barbie doll does not need to be the only toy that a child ever plays with.